By T S Sudhir
PM : Good evening Madam. I bring to you good news. Yeddyurappa has agreed to step down.
Sonia Gandhi : Namarste, Manmohhan Singhji. But yeh acchi khabarr kaise hai? If he had not agreed, it would have meant more trouble for the BJP and that would have been Advantage Kangress.
PM : Oh, yees. Dhat tere ki. Mainu political dimaag hi nahi hai.
Sonia : Yes. What do they say in your Poonjabi? Mooli ke paranthe khayiye.
PM : Sorry Madam. I will learn. I will also spend some time with Digvijay Singh ji for political gyaan.
Sonia : Yes, I have called Diggy also to this meeting. He should be coming any moment now.
PM : But Madamji, he is always taking care of Rahul Baba and giving statements saying Baba should move to 7, Race Course Road. My worry is that phir aap akeli pad jayengi.
Sonia : (gives PM a cold glare as Diggy walks in) Aayiye Digyvijay ji, Pradhanmantri ji abhi abhi aapkee tarrrrrreef karr rahe the.
Diggy : Thankyou sir. I try my best to be a good babysitter, Madam.
Sonia : Let us discuss Karnataka now.
PM : Yes Madam. So as I was saying Yeddyurappa will resign now. Should we send S M Krishna to Karnataka to lead the Congress there?
Sonia : No. He is nat willing to go. He instead wants to travel to Hislamabad. He has arranged to play tennis with Hina Rabbannni Khar. I think he will lose the game at love.
PM : (mutters under his breath) I think he has already.
Diggy : If I may submit, let’s send Sharad Pawar and Farooq Abdullah too. They can play cricket and golf as well. Sporting ties are always good.
Sonia : Ok. Yes, tell Kapil Sibal not to talk about Karnataka. He will do some silly calculation and say Yeddy caused zero loss to the state exchequer.
PM : Yes Madam, I will SMS Sibal. He is hardworking but thoda Maths me kaccha hai.
Sonia : OK. What news from Tihar? That Raja created a scare by naming you.
PM : That is not a problem Madam. Actually, all this while, everyone was saying I don’t do any work. But Raja said I took some decision. Isn’t that positive?
Sonia : Ok ok, if you insist. Aapko Raajneeti bilkul nahi aati. Tell me, is it true that Suresh Kalmadi has forgotten everything?
PM : Kabhi haa kabhi naa. Short term memory loss lagta hai Madam. Memory is a very funny thing. I myself forget I am the PM of India. Even Krishna forgets. That’s why he read the Portugal minister’s speech. Haw haw haw.
Sonia : Good joke, Man ji. Aapka sense of humour is improving.
Diggy : Now Kalmadi has said his only problem is with the heart. What he means to say is that man Tihar mein nahi lagta. I have already declared him innocent. I think it was Nagpur’s conspiracy to implicate Kalmadi since he is from Pune.
Sonia : (ignoring his theory) By the way who is dis Rakhi Sawant?
PM : Naam sunayi padta hai. Is she a minister in my cabinet?
Sonia : (gives PM a stern look) No, apparently she said she was in love with Rahul Baba earlier and now she is in love with Baba Ramdev.
PM : Oye teri. From Baba to Baba.
Sonia : And she has also said “Meri Sonia Gandhi ke saath daal nahin galegi”. That’s so offensive. I always make pasta at home.
Diggy : This is so insulting. How can any girl reject Rahul? And that too for Ramdev. Ghor apmaan. (Turning to PM) Sir, kuch karna padega
PM : Main kya kar sakta hoon ji
Diggy : Can’t we book her under any section? Quickly.
PM : No idea
Diggy : So get idea. hee hee hee.
Sonia : No reference to that Bollywood family in my home, Digvijayji.
Diggy : Sorry Madam. (starts to surf the net on his mobile) Ah yes, Madam, yeh to wonderful hai. Disproportionate assets ka case to bilkul banta hai. Under section 36C.
PM : Yeh ED ka case ya CBI ka. FERA violation ya FEMA.
Sonia : Oh Manmohhanji, don’t take so much strain of work on your head. Not good for you. But this case sounds funny, I must say.
Diggy : No Madam, let us proceed. This is a plot of civil society to undermine our authority by making Rakhi Sawant say she finds Ramdev Hot-ter.
PM : Even Pranab da found him hot to handle ji
Sonia : Too many people calling Baba names. That Kerala man, what was hisss name, yes, V S Achooothanandan, uff what a long name, he called Rahul an Amul Baby.
Diggy : But this Rakhi Sawant will set an unhealthy precedent, Madam. We should act immediately.
PM : Haan ji. Gursharan also always advocates a strong line. Baby, err, I mean Baba so gaye kya?
Sonia : No, I am waiting for him to get back. He has gone for an evening walk. I hope he does not get lost and step into Uttar Pradesh. Will you go and search for him and get him back, Manmohan ji, if you are not too busy?
PM : Me, beejee, never. I will go right away Madam. At your service. Good night.
Diggy : I will come with you Manmohan ji. I know his regular haunts in Noida. Good night Madam
Sonia : Good night.
(We would like to inform our readers that a probe has been ordered into how this conversation was recorded and leaked out. Sonia Gandhi suspects the PM has started chewing gum and has asked him to either lose the habit or his job. Digvijay suspects an RSS hand. Watch this space for more)