By Tenali Rama
Is it an UFO? Or is it a set created for Krrish 4, wondered people in this southern city of India. An inter-planetary probe, launched by NASA to study the formation and structure of craters in the solar system, has landed in the heart of Hyderabad. Going strictly by scientific parameters, the state-of-the-art instruments on board the rover have chosen craters on Hyderabad roads as the ideal location to conduct the study.
“We are not at all surprised that our rover has landed in this southern Indian city. The circuitry of the onboard computer is programmed in such a way that it locates the most fascinating craters in the planetary system and lands there,” a spokesman of NASA said.
But if NASA scientists expected to study the craters of all shapes and sizes in peace, they were in for a rude shock. Telangana votaries have asked NASA to clarify if they support bifurcation of Andhra Pradesh and only if they do, they will let them explore the craters. “We feel this is a Seemandhra conspiracy to run down Hyderabad as a centre of craters and prevent investment from flowing into Hyderabad once it becomes capital of Telangana state,” said a Telangana votary.
“I want Hyderabad to be given in the same state as it was before 1956. Which means no craters on the roads,” declared K Chandrasekhar Rao of the TRS. “These Andhra rulers have reduced Hyderabad to this state.”
Seemandhra activists have meanwhile said Hyderabad should be made the joint capital of Telangana, Seemandhra and NASA. “Our children can join NASA directly in Hyderabad instead of going all the way to the USA,” said a group of MPs. In a representation, the Seemandhra lobby has asked that the Centre should look after the subject of craters in addition to law and order in Hyderabad. Another idea that has been mooted is that the craters should be divided in 60:40 ratio in the common capital of Hyderabad between Seemandhra and Telangana governments. “We can lease out our craters and NASA and earn precious foreign exchange for India,” said a Seemandhra leader.
Former chief minister Chandrababu Naidu said it was he who put Hyderabad on the world map. “You are thoroughly mistaken. I got Bill Gates and Bill Clinton to Hyderabad. They praised Hyderabad as a happening city. Today NASA is coming. But it is coming looking for craters. Where we are going? Idi chaala baadhakaram (this is very unfortunate),” Naidu said. The former chief minister has demanded an all-party meeting to discuss NASA’s landing in Hyderabad.
Left parties have called for a Hyderabad bandh, protesting against American imperialism in the heart of India. “Allowing NASA to land in Hyderabad shows that the UPA government has completely sold itself to the Obama administration,” said the CPI and CPM in a joint statement. Meanwhile, Maoist sympathisers have condemned the NASA rover’s arrival, alleging it is an attempt to keep an eye on Maoist activity in the Dandakaranya region from Hyderabad.
(Inspired by a Facebook post by Suresh Dharur)