Burra na mano, aaj Holi hai
(Written on Holi of 2011)
By T S Sudhir
I just finished reading Chetan Bhagat’s 2009 book `2 States’. He begins with a disclaimer that he loves south Indians. I too start off with the disclaimer that I love north Indians. As a Tam Brahm (Palghat Iyer to be more precise) who grew up in Delhi in the 80s, I could relate to most parts of the novel. Those were the days when anyone south of the Vindhyas was a Madrasi, irrespective of whether he hailed from Kottayam, Guntur, Bellary or Madurai. It may have been a hangover of the Madras state before Andhra Pradesh and Tamil Nadu were carved out.
But no, you cannot tell any south Indian that, with your meek ways, you were unable to impress north Indians about your distinct cultural and language identity. Most south Indians I know, would be more inclined to blame it on the `ignorance’ of North Indians, that they don’t know India’s geography beyond Mumbai.
Kamal Haasan’s `Ek Duje ke liye’ in the early 80s taught them “Nee romba azhaga irukkai”(you are very beautiful, Kamal says to Rati Agnihotri). It became an anthem for most guys to tease the Miss Ramakrishnans and Miss Raos living in cities in the north. Once their taste buds were introduced to masala dosa and idli-sambar, `Madras’ became more identifiable and palatable. But stereotypes fed no doubt by matching real-life experiences, continue to flourish.
It is Holi today and I am reminded of the paranoia with which many traditional south Indian families would regard the festival and the happenings around it. Most Tam Brahms saw it as a rowdy festival, when the next door Nagpal uncle, Malhotra Aunty, Babloo, Shipra et al, loaded with high decibel levels of `Holi hai’ would almost `molest’ the south Indian, who would recoil from the boisterousness.
A story I have heard from my mother is during her visit to Lucknow in 1966, as a young girl, not yet married. Her brother Raman was posted there. Holi arrived and an overcautious Ram mama made elaborate preparations to lock the house from the outside to convey to the neighbourhood that the family wasn’t home. But their friends knew better.
“Raman saab ghar ke andar hi hai, humko bewakoof banane ka yeh prayaas hai.” As the friends, obviously enjoying the chance to rag the Ramans, banged the door, Murali, their son, then some six years old, was ordered to duck under the table and make no noise. Finally, the crowd found its way through the back door and what followed was nothing the family ever wished should have happened to them. Virtually every colour found space on their faces and the rest of the home too.
Holi was also an opportunity for young Romeos to get fresh with girls they wanted to romance. Like this Tam Brahm boy in our neighbourhood who was in 7th heaven because on Holi, he managed to `symbolically’ put red gulaal on another Iyer girl’s forehead. Not that the one-sided romance got any more colourful post-Holi.
I write this sitting at my sister’s home in Navi Mumbai where in the neighbourhood, a swimming pool has been converted into ground zero of Holi revelry. I hear `Munni’, `Sheila’ and the evergreen Big B classic `rang barse’ providing the opium to all those who want to shake a wet leg and wet body.
My nephew and daughter, and half the family in fact, has rushed out with great gusto to celebrate the festival of colours. The madrasi of the 21st century has embraced Holi and I no longer feel a victim when they splash gulaal on me, and shout `Burra na mano, aaj Holi hai’.
(Tejaswini, my daughter with her uncle)
tsr.net.co and www.tenaliramareports.com
hi friends,
First of all our apologies for not updating this blogsite. The reason, as some of you may be aware is that most of our blogs were appearing on my new digital venture `The South Reports’, which as the name suggests is a citizen journalism website, focussed on issues that a south Indian living in any part of the world would be interested in.
The site has many wonderful writers writing for it. I would strongly recommend each one of you to sign up as a member of the site. The URL is www.tsr.net.co
The second venture that has just kicked off on September 1 is www.tenaliramareports.com. This is a satire website where a reporter called Tenali Rama writes witty and part fact-part fictional news reports on topical events.
I would request you to check it out as well.
Many thanks for your patronage and feedback.
Thanks
T S Sudhir and Uma Sudhir
DMK, the Dad, Moms and kin party
By T S Sudhir
If you are a DMK leader of any consequence, you will `land’ in trouble in Tamilnadu. The Jayalalithaa government is going after land grabbers with a vengeance and it is no surprise that a majority of them owe allegiance to the DMK. Karunanidhi is crying foul, accusing Amma of unleashing political vendetta. He has good reason to feel cornered. After `grabbing’ the land of Tamilnadu from him on May 13, now to accuse his partymen of grabbing land is a double whammy, isn’t it?
Wonder if Kalaignar feels inspired to write poetry these days. Because if he does, it will only reflect the agony and the pain he is going through in the sunset years of his political career. He has been giving expression to his outpouring of grief frequently though. Like when his darling daughter Kanimozhi was sent behind bars. Like when son Stalin was taken into preventive custody. Yes, you guessed it right. DMK for the patriarch is just an extension branch of his family tree. It could well stand for `Dad, Moms and Kin’.
In many senses, Karunanidhi brought it upon himself. By turning a blind eye to the power struggle within his different households, by postponing crucial decisions on the succession battle, feeling cocky after the 2009 Lok Sabha results, blatant corruption and muscle power and so on. Which is why when Raja’s 2G expedition brought the army of CBI to the DMK doorstep, Karunanidhi’s game was up. The DMK sunrise was no longer as stirring a cup as Nescafe Sunrise. But like the coffee, the election results delivered instant justice.
Where does the party go from here? By targetting police officers like Jaffer Sait, who was the eyes and ears of the DMK regime and key lieutenants of Azhagiri in south Tamilnadu, Jayalalithaa is tightening the screws smartly. Having learnt that voters do not appreciate highhanded behaviour, she is eschewing the temptation to do a 2001 midnight swoop on Karunanidhi kind of operation this time. The strategy clearly is to go after the key men who provide Azhagiri, Stalin and the Marans with the oxygen. Choke the air supply to make their hearts skip more than a beat, seems to be the gameplan.
JJ is still enjoying her honeymoon with the people of Tamilnadu. And what helps her crusade against land grabbers is that corruption is an issue is agitating the country and the DMK is seen as a party that particularly benefitted by charging itself with all its power.
My sense also is that JJ’s `Discharge Muthuvel Karunanidhi’ campaign may eventually help Stalin in the leadership race within the DMK. His elder brother Azhagiri, thanks to the company he keeps, is more likely to face the heat in Madurai and suburbs. With Kanimozhi and the Marans neutralised by the law of the land, Stalin has the space to make his political moves. His decision to lead the anti-government protests from the front, I believe, was the first of those. In days to come, Tamilnadu may see more of Stalin as he `grabs’ the baton from his indecisive father to pitch himself as JJ’s rival in years to come.
Officially at least, age is on Stalin’s side. Remember, even though he is a grandfather, the 58-year-old is still the DMK youth wing secretary ! He has been in politics long enough to know that impatience does not work. Amma could do to him what the late MGR did to Karunanidhi. The DMK warmed the opposition benches as long as MGR was alive. The challenge now is for Stalin to think out of the box. That will be key since he knows his rival is already in the ring to box him.
Saina says Namaste London
By Uma Sudhir
India’s badminton ace Saina Nehwal is raring to go at next week’s World Chamoionships in London. The event also holds larger significance because of the fact that the venue will also host the Olympics’ event in 2012.
Reddy `Republic of muscle power’
By Uma Sudhir in Bellary
The Reddy brothers are said to be the kingpins in the mining mafia that operated in Bellary. Here’s a special report from the ground on how the Reddy brothers allegedly use muscle power to control illegal mining.
It’s life as usual in Bellary
By Uma Sudhir in Bellary
A day after the Supreme Court ordered all mining in Bellary to stop for environmental reasons, an NDTV investigation finds that in this part of Karnataka, it’s business as usual. Trucks carry iron ore to steel plants; officials wave them through check-posts. A collaboration between government officials, politicians and mine-owners governs Bellary.
India plays fair, now for a lovely 2nd innings
By T S Sudhir
If it sounds an exaggeration, so be it. But to me, for the Trent Bridge crowd to boo the Indian team with chants of `cheats’ when they went to the pavilion for the tea break in the Nottingham Test, was a verbal version of Bodyline. This when one of their very own, Michael Vaseline Vaughan, had showed just a day before why the Brits are such cry babies. VVS Laxman with his receding hairline, would not have known that vaseline had such side advantages as well.
But first the run out controversy. By now everyone knows Ian Bell, sauntering back to the pavilion for tea (some cheeky Indians have called it Bell’s slutwalk) was given run out. You may argue that the ball was dead but then the third umpire did rule him out. The England captain and coach walked to the Indian dressing room at tea to request MSD to withdraw the appeal. `Mahatma’ Dhoni agreed, even though with that decision, he had kind of, also lost the match.
So what, his fans and admirers asked. Dhoni has won hearts, they argued. Fair enough. We may lose the number 1 ranking in Tests, but at least we will win the Fair play award. It can’t get more fair and lovely than that.
India has its back to the wall (actually it is back to the Wall, quite literally) in this Test but it is England, for who the bell tolls. Particularly after the uncouth manner in which Vaughan suggested that Laxman’s bat helped him escape from a faint edge. The decision was reviewed by England but rejected by the Hot-Spot technology.
“Has Vaseline on the outside edge saved the day for Laxman?” tweeted Vaughan. This after Stuart Broad had the temerity to walk up to Laxman and inspect the Hyderabadl’s bat. His mythological avatar would have chopped off Broad’s nose !
Sunil Gavaskar, India’s last word on all things cricket, pointed out that Vaughan had questioned Laxman’s integrity and that VVS should take the Brit to court. Realising the tweet was proving a touch too slippery, Vaughan let loose a barrage of tweets in his defence. Sample these :
“I think there has been a slight over reaction to Vaseline gate … Taken to court!!!?? Sense of humour required to many I think …”
“Just woke up to barrage of abuse from India … What are they going to be like when they lose this Test?”
Now that Vaughan is daring India to win, I would suggest Laxman lets his vaseline-free bat do the talking instead of his lawyer. And at the end of it, send Vaughan a bottle of vaseline, with compliments.
And as far as “sense of humour” is concerned, the next time an England team comes to India and complains of Delhi belly, the BCCI should send them DVDs of the Aamir Khan production to humour themselves in their hotel rooms. And tell them, S**T happens !
And for now, can we get back to Trent Bridge and win it or save it please? Can’t have the Boycotts of the world go Kaanv Kaanv about their team endlessly.
